Today I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  This is just between you and me.   I’m going to tell you how your wife should behave to make you happy.  I mean let’s face it.  Most of us internally know what we want our wives to do, right?

Maybe yours goes something like this.

She should respect me more.

Take care of my physical needs.

Be there for me when I’m upset.

Take care of the kids.

Wash clothes.

Be more romantic.

She should work less….or work more.

You get the picture, and most of our lists go on and on.

We’ve created this expectations list, or this manual, in our mind of how our spouse is supposed to show-up in this world.

Most of the time we don’t even tell them what our lists are!

Here’s an insider tip.

You be you, and let your spouse be them. 

Real love is when we let our spouses be themselves without judging them.

We take care of our needs and we let them take care of theirs.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t do things together or even ask our spouses for things.

It just means we don’t need for our spouses to comply so our needs can be met.

It’s not how most marriages function.

It’s not easy.

But it is freeing.

Notice what expectations you have for your spouse this week and which ones are quite possibly ruining your marriage.